Lyrics

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(I'll Never) Run Outta Bungwipe	I Had Diarrhea When I Wrote This Song
Music and Lyrics by: Jughead McAnus Date Recorded: April, 1999 When my stomach starts to rumble, What's a man to do? The roll and cupboard are bare, nothing to wipe my poo. Do I sit here for hours, for someone to come by? I think I'll wipe it with my hand and pray my pooper dries. Chorus: Cause it's the sacrifice I make, When it's a dump I have to take. Use My Hand... Some people think I'm insane, myself I do defend. Can't think of anything better, for wiping my rear-end. So next time you run outta paper, remember my advice... Use your hand, maybe two, to wipe your schpincter clean of poo... Chorus.	Music and Lyrics: Jughead McAnus I had diarrhea when I wrote this song and when i recorded it too Had to get up 30 times to run to the bowl Just so I could blow out my liquid poo. It felt like I was pissing out my ass Took a whole role just to mop, I had to finish writing this in the can as the bowl was filling with brown slop. Chorus: I had rrhea... (DIARRHEA!) I had rrhea... (DIARRHEA!) I had rrhea... (DIARRHEA!) I had rrhea... (DIARRHEA!) They say never wipe more than 3 times or else you'll get 'rhoids... The 27 times I had to wipe My arse grapes were the size of asteroids. Recording this song didn't go so well I had to do it from the bowl Drums and leads and rhythm too For a solid shit I'd sell my soul Chorus
Mike Marshall Framed Me	Pukin' In The Tube
Words and Music by: Jughead McAnus Long Long ago 'bout 20 years ago A lowly cowpoke framed me How was I to know? He was holdin' up the stagecoach a calculator from Canadian Tire I was the start of something awful Ma & Pa found out I was a liar... Chorus: Mike Marshall Framed Me That fucking redneck hick Mike Marshall Framed Me His skinny ass I will kick He had a shack down in the bog and made moonshine out of grass When that fucker framed me I should've kicked his ass. My mother made me promise, I would not retaliate When I think of beating him now I sit right down and masturbate. Chorus	Music and Lyrics by: Jughead McAnus Rye & Whisky, Red and White Wine Tryin' to impress my friends Drank the shit in 10 minutes flat Now I got the spins, why won't they end? Drank it out of a McDonalds glass The Hamburgler told me to drink some more Grimace warned me not to go But Mayor McCheese said "No No No" "Don't listen to Grimace, he's a big purple fag" "Drink till you puke, retch and gag." Chorus: I ended up pukin' in the tube It's a feeling that I don't like I ended up pukin' in the tube Puked after Craig ran me over with a bike Jumped off the sundeck, landed on my ass What the fuck did I think? Stumbled thru a work yard, landed on my face Why did I have so much to drink? Why did he run me over with a bike? I was having a blast up until then I couldn't feel below my knees All my friends seemed very pleased I left in a huff, my friends were barred Spent an hour puking in my neighbour's yard. Chorus
The Choadslurper	Penis Shit Smell
Music and Lyrics by: Jughead McAnus There are those in life who've heard it all before but when I heard this story there was no tellin' what was in store There is a man we didn't know he was gay but when we heard what he did there wasn't very much that we could say 'cause Chorus: He's a choadslurper Slurpin' his own choad He's a choadslurper Eatin' his own load He was pounding her bush and then he gave her his dick slime He thought he was finished But what came next should be a crime She told him to dive he didn't know what to do so he went downtown and he started to eat his goo Chorus: It turns out he liked it He does it whenever he can Now he's taken up yoga So he can do it without any middle man Chorus	Words by Skipper McGillicutty Sing me a song, you're a singer Do me a wrong, I'll give you a ringstinger Don't be afraid and quaver Less that you tighten the more you'll take er So it's on and on and on, its penis shit smell, oh well The lover of ass's not a sinner I'll start by giving you a rimmer The closer you get to the spinkter Klause washes Helmut and Colonel Klink, oh So it's on and on and on, oh it's on and on and on It goes on and on and on, penis shit smell I can tell, loose stools! Well if it seems to be real its illusion For every thrust of my rod, adds your confusion Gay love is seen as the answer, and your ass may bleed if you chance it And it's on and on, on and on and on. . . They say that big fat asses smell Spit and lube, you've got to ride it well The world is full of Gays and Queens Who blind your eyes with jizzy cream It's penis shit smell, oh well And they'll tell you pink is really brown The ass is just a pussy that's tight And when you probe in backyard halls You get to keep the corn that falls It's penis shit smell, oh no! Stool, Stool! You've got to bleed for the dancer! Stool, Stool! Look for the answer! Stool, Stool, Stool!
Schpincter Bloody Schpincter	Monkeyshines
Words by: Skipper McGillicutty You've seen life through distorted eyes You know you had to learn The penetration of your ass Hold your breath, your hole may burn The lube applied, the cheeks apart As I enter, please don't fart My knob is hard, the tip purple An inch at first, is just the start Nobody will ever let you down If you ask them to be gentle This may be just your first time As they tell you to get on all fours Fill your ass all full of goo The people who have buggerred you You want to feel their ass burn You want to return the favour Probe deep, in the hole of corn You're wishing that the hands of men Could spread your cheeks further And you don't care if you don't see again Another fur burger Nobody will ever let you down If you ask them to be gentle This may be just your first time As they tell you to get on all fours Fill your ass all full of goo Klaus washes Helmut Dave Hasseloff too Buck Rogers loves Tweeky Mr. Brady choked On Sam's big sausage Skipper, Gilligan Professor and Howell Don't eat pink oysters Everything around you I'm coming inside of you I know as so do you know We'll take it nice and slow Spinkter Bloody Spinkter So much more to do Living just for prying Deep inside your poo	Words and Music by: Skipper McGIllicutty Age 1, got Jungle Jim Fever, burning up, reach the sky in my Baby Bouncer Age 2, got my feet on the kitchen counter It's too high to get over (Yeah, Yeah) Too low to get under (Yeah, Yeah) Surrounded by monkeys (Yeah, Yeah) One touch, you’re frozen red (Yeah, Yeah) It's too high to get over (Yeah, Yeah) Too low to get under (Yeah, Yeah) Surrounded by monkeys (Yeah, Yeah) Monkey tag, end up dead (Yeah, Yeah) Age 10, tubin’ n’ groovin’ in the park slippin’ n’ slidin’ , no slowin’ Age 12, swingin’ high, with Mr. Coleman It's too high to get over (Yeah, Yeah) Too low to get under (Yeah, Yeah) Surrounded by monkeys (Yeah, Yeah) One touch, you’re frozen red (Yeah, Yeah) It's too high to get over (Yeah, Yeah) Too low to get under (Yeah, Yeah) Surrounded by monkeys (Yeah, Yeah) Monkey tag, end up dead (Yeah, Yeah) Age 16, hand on my shaft at Woody’s, twistin, turnin’ , choke the monkey Age 18, better than Kong the Donkey It's too high to get over (Yeah, Yeah) Too low to get under (Yeah, Yeah) Surrounded by monkeys (Yeah, Yeah) One touch, you’re frozen red (Yeah, Yeah) It's too high to get over (Yeah, Yeah) Too low to get under (Yeah, Yeah) Surrounded by monkeys (Yeah, Yeah) Monkey tag, end up dead (Yeah, Yeah) [pre chorus] My mom took me to see the doctor still got the Fever, age twenty nine Saw me swingin’ from his rafters said, “looks like you’ve got The Shine Take two of these, call me in the morning” I went home with my two bananas and bought lemonade from Norman Age 33, time for a reunion in the basement, turn out the lights cartridge in, press start, try and keep your life It's too high to get over (Yeah, Yeah) Too low to get under (Yeah, Yeah) Surrounded by monkeys (Yeah, Yeah) One touch, you’re frozen red (Yeah, Yeah) It's too high to get over (Yeah, Yeah) Too low to get under (Yeah, Yeah) Surrounded by monkeys (Yeah, Yeah) Monkey tag, end up dead (Yeah, Yeah) [pre chorus] My mom took me to see the doctor still got the Fever, age, twenty nine Saw me swingin’ from his rafters said, “looks like you’ve got The Shine Take two of these, call me in the morning” I went home with my two bananas and bought lemonade from Norman It's too high to get over (Yeah, Yeah) Too low to get under (Yeah, Yeah) Surrounded by monkeys (Yeah, Yeah) One touch, you’re frozen red (Yeah, Yeah) It's too high to get over (Yeah, Yeah) Too low to get under (Yeah, Yeah) Surrounded by monkeys (Yeah, Yeah) Monkey tag, end up dead (Yeah, Yeah)