Skipper McGillicutty

Instruments: Rhythm Guitar, Bass, Vocals

As the 'smart one' in Shite, Skipper's lyrics tend to be a little more thoughtful than Jughead's. "I am a conduit for God. He is talking to his people through me" says Skipper. Insanity aside, Skips overcame a childhood affliction to be in Shite...the inability to hum a tune. Listening to him try to communicate the melody of a song was like hearing a heart monitor drone on and on.

Skipper plays Gibson and Hasbro guitars and Fender Basses.

Jughead McAnus

Instruments: Rhythm, Lead Guitars, Bass, Vocals, Drum Programming

As the 'drunk, fat one' in the band, Jughead leads by example...living what he writes about. His hits such as "The Phantom Pooper", "I Had Diarrhea When I Wrote This Song" and "Pukin' In The Tube" are all auto-biographical and were a heart-wrenching experience for Juggy to get down on paper. He then used that same paper to wipe his arse as he had just ran out of toilet paper.

Jughead plays ESP and Fender guitars, and a piece-of-shit bass. I'm not kidding...the bass really sucks ass. Jughead apologizes for the horrible bass sound on his recordings.

Gandalf The Jew

Instruments: Vocals

He's smaller than Dio, more diminutive than Udo Dirkschneider, and he was kicked out of the Killer Dwarfs for being too small...he's Gandalf The Jew, the smallest, creepiest vocalist in the world. Gandalf was the most sought-after free-agent vocalist in metal today. And now he's ours. Gandalf came to Shite in an interesting way. When we lost the Rabbi, we heard Gandalf was available, living under a nearby bridge scaring young children and stealing their lunch money. When he tried to steal our beer money, we hog-tied him, brought him to our rehearsal studio, and didn't let  him go until he agreed to join our band. Weeks of brainwashing persuasion led to his formal joining of Shite. The rest shall be history.

Gandalf uses Mr. Microphone and Rosenberg Dreidels exclusively.

Juicy The Clown

Instruments: Beer Can, Porn Mags, Swedish Auto-Suck Machine

Juicy is the number one manager of Brown Metal bands ever. No argument. His past bands include Gunt, and The Hasselhoffs. Being the german bastard offspring of Third Reich vetrans Helmut Von Kookenbecker and Ogla Gasenfluff, Juicy is used to a regimented lifestyle...something he passes onto Shite. Each member of Shite is expected to shag 5 groupies a day, calling out David Hasselhoff's name as they blow their loads.

God Bless David Hasselhoff.